Rome wasn’t built in a day. Neither was there ever a perfect human being created in one day. Perfection takes time through many mistakes and lessons learned in life. I wouldn’t say I am anything near perfect. But I’m always looking at ways to be a better human being or a better version of myself. For me there’s always room for self-development improvement. Being that said I decided to go on a social media hiatus. It usually takes 21 days for a new behaviour to stick. So what better way than to give it up for a full 30 days! I didn’t want to start at the beginning the month. I wanted to start right in the very middle. Since half of the month was already over I’d be more likely to quit. I wanted to make it as hard for me as possible. I wanted to see if I could actually do it.
Social media was turning into a really bad habit. I would wake up in the morning and the very first thing I would do was check my Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat. Then shortly after I would check my emails. This had become my morning routine. Ugh…so disgusting and it wasn’t anything to be proud of or happy to brag about. It was like checking my social media was reading the daily news. It became my obsession. I would check it at work before treating my patients and after each and every patient. I treat on average 7-9 patients a day. So you can imagine how often I was checking my social media. That doesn’t even include after work or on my days off. It was seriously becoming a bad addiction. I was so unproductive and very antisocial. I needed a break. Gimme a break off that social media bar!
To be honest I didn’t think giving up social media would be very hard at all. I like giving myself challenges and have done so in the past. Whether I’m giving up something negative or trying a new healthy behaviour, the impact of the process is always positive and rather refreshing. I have done 30 days and I have done 40 days…especially for Lent every year before Easter. Some of the positive behaviours that started as a challenge, have now become a part of my daily routine. Some examples would be saying a positive mantra daily, journaling about my day and doing one thing nice every day for someone else. I also completed 30 days of yoga, 30 minutes of any exercise for 30 days, 30 days of meditation and 30 days of telling 30 of my friends why I appreciate them. Obviously not all at the same time but throughout the years of my life. Some of the really hard things I gave up were chocolate, ice cream, pizza, swearing, negative self talk and SEX! So if I can handle giving up sex & chocolate…my two biggest weaknesses! I could surely handle giving up social media.
I’m not going to lie, it wasn’t easy giving up social media. I didn’t realize how often I was checking my social media daily. It was more out of habit or because I had nothing to do. I loved seeing the notifications and seeing all the likes or comments. The first couple days were so hard. Social media was like crack to me. Why did I need to constantly be checking in for everything? So I had to create a secret folder and hide Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat. I had to take all the noti”Fiona”cations OFF! I wrote a Facebook post about my social media hiatus. I didn’t even read all the replies and comments. I wanted to wait until I was done to read them. So I waited until I completed all 30 days. Of course there were a lot of doubters and nay-sayers who said I wouldn’t last a day. Well guess what? Haha…F you! I not only lasted 1 day! I lasted 30 days! I love when people tell me I cannot do something because I always will turn around and say “Oh yah watch me!”
The irony about giving up social media made me more social…lol. I was going out more for dinners with friends and dancing with the girls. Also I was spending more time with friends and catching up with good old conversations. I was making time for my family and by actually being present. I even took time to take care of myself and had a spa date with one of my best girlfriends. It felt great to really take care of me and just pamper myself. Even though it was probably the most expensive facial and body mud wrap I’ve ever had done. It was also at the most luxurious spa I’ve ever experienced. But It was definitely a great bonding day with one my best girlfriends. I wanted to not only look good on the outside but I wanted to feel good on the inside. So I needed to replace my need for the constant checking of my phone with a healthier habit. I started doing more of my Spanish lessons on Rosetta Stone app and my Luminosity app. Yes I was still reaching for my phone but I replaced social media with brain training and sharpening my skills. In the 30 days I managed to finish two 200 page books, crushed the 7 seasons of Game of Thrones in 10 days…lol. I was interacting with my coworkers more versus burying my face in my phone. But I also was talking to more people on the phone versus texting. For the friends who knew I was on a break would still send me photos and videos of their life. So I didn’t feel like I was missing out on too much. But a lot can happen in 30 days…never mind a lot can happen in 24 hours!
Don’t get me wrong there were many times I really wanted to just scroll on Instagram and watch all the Insta-stories. I so badly wanted to give myself a flawless cat faced filter and talk in a high squeaky voice on Snapchat. But I didn’t. I wanted to ultimately be “right here right now” in the present moment. I instantly felt less anxiety and stress from not having to reply to every message or post that was sent to me. I actually enjoyed putting my phone away and enjoying my time with the person sitting in front of me. I didn’t miss “checking in” to all the different locations, taking selfies or posting pics of my food. Some of my best moments in life have never made it to social media. All my favourite things heart to heart conversations, big bear hugs, sweet kisses, deliciously beautiful meals, beast mode workouts at the gym and Netflix and chill nights etc. I was flying through the 30 days and it seemed to get easier. Up until I got sick. It was week 3 and I was put on some aggressive antibiotics. I had to miss work, training sessions with my personal trainer, and appointments with spiritual teacher. I was not happy and felt like absolute shit. Normally whenever I’ve been sick it’s easy to just stay on social media for hours and hours. Scrolling, wasting time and making myself feel better by creeping everyone else’s pages and liking everything. But again I didn’t.
My friend knew I wasn’t feeling well and offered to come hang out with me and help cheer me up. How could I say no? It was exactly what I needed, quality time with my friend which sounded like a pretty perfect night to me. I thought it would be wonderful bonding night and possibly a recipe cure for my well-being. What started off to be a lovely evening turned out to be so annoying. We watched some sports on tv and decided to watch a movie. However my friend had his phone is his hand from the get go. As soon as he walked in the front door he was checking his phone. I was feeling really disappointed because I thought he came over to cheer me up. During the movie my friend offered to massage my shoulders, I said yes of course! How could I say no to that idea? But as I was getting my massage I could feel only one hand on me and hear the other hand was clicking on his phone. For fucks sake…the movie should have been entertainment enough and the phone should have been put away! The constant responding to messages or scrolling on social media reminded me why I started my hiatus in the first place. I wanted to be reminded to enjoy the company I was with and time well spent together. I wanted to be fully present. Even though it was my friend’s idea to come over and cheer me up and it was a very thoughtful idea…he was never fully present. I don’t think he heard a single word I said all night. Let alone even remembered what I talked about. I wanted meaningful conversations where he looked me in the eyes and not on his phone. So not only was I sick, now I was sad. I’d say it’s true, social media can drive a wedge between friends and cause a riff in any relationship. I needed companionship and friendship in my time of sickness and my friend didn’t show me any value of my presence.
During my 30 day social media hiatus I’ve learned even though I’m making a positive change to better myself not everyone around me will agree or support me. People will put me down in hopes I will fail. The people who really want me to be in their life will always find a way to include me or to stay connected. It doesn’t matter if I’m on social media or absent for 30 days…friends always reach out to the ones they love. I not only feel more confidently happy and but also less stressed out. I no longer feel inclined to constantly be on my phone. If it’s not urgent…it can wait. After successfully completing a healthy behaviour 30 day challenge, it makes me feel empowered and full of positive energy. I have to remember if I’m doing something that makes me happy that doesn’t necessarily translate to everyone else. Just because I’ve made a behaviour change doesn’t mean everyone else around me is doing the same. I cannot be upset or angry with other’s behaviours. Sometimes quality time is just having a friend present without saying anything at all. I’ve learned to not take things so personally. Not everyone understands me or exactly what I need. Taking a social media break did make me happy but at the same time I’m happy to be back! I would highly recommend for everyone to try out any 30 day challenges. The struggle is very real but the results are really awesome. Healthy mind body well-being, equals self love swell-human-being. Like. Love. Double Tap.
*images taken from other sources on the internet
Memoirs of an Emotional Fish 