Well it’s been 12 days since I’ve been on self isolation and social distancing from the world outside. From recent news, I will not be working for an extended amount of time due to COVID19 aka corona virus. Since I predominantly work hands on doing massage therapy it was recommended by the CMTO to suspend all non essential services. I don’t exactly know what you’d classify as “essential” but to me massage is not essential. Yes massage helps to promote one’s well being and decreases stress. But I decided in the best interests of my patients and for the safety of myself, that it was best if I wasn’t touching anyone for the time being.
So here I am day 12 in isolation. At first I was a bit sad, frustrated, angry and confused. But throughout the weeks I have kept up with daily meditation, yoga and exercise. I have been writing in a journal daily to help process my thoughts. I’m not sure if it has totally hit me yet or I’m still in denial. For the most part I’m actually quite content with the peace and quiet. Of course I’m concerned about what’s going to happen with my finances and life in general. The world as we know it has changed. There’s going to be a lot of changes with the government, healthcare and society as a whole.
Right now I’m comfortable in my home. I have enough food, toilet paper and plenty of activities do keep me occupied. So far I’ve had movie theme nights. I’ve got a vast collection of DVDs for the watching. I’ve been doing a daily 21 yoga and meditation challenge. I find doing the both challenges has kept me quite sane. I’m not freaking or stressed out by any means. I’m learning to go within for my meditations. I completed a colouring meditation which was quite soothing and calming for the mind. I take daily dance breaks just to sweat it out. Also, letting go of what I cannot control has helped me transition throughout this time off work. I’ve been reading more books. I’m trying to avoid reading too many things about COVID19 and just deleting all messages from group chats. It gets to be a bit overwhelming and everyone has their 2 cents to share about the situation.
During this time I am aware of the people who are insensitive to others. People who aren’t social distancing themselves and still living their lives as if they are super immune humans. There’s been a lot of cancellations to events, gyms, services, appointments, holidays, festivals, dates and temporary closures to actual locations. Some people have the “work from home” option while some of us don’t have that luxury. One thing after another was being shut down. I’d open my emails everyday with another email announcing their temporary closure. My heart hurt.
On top of all these dominos falling my father was emitted to the hospital. Of course I had to go home to see him. But with restrictions within the hospital I wasn’t even allowed to go in to actually see him. Do you know hard it is to see a parent in the hospital and you can’t even hug them? It was not easy. On the positive side of news he was released within hours of me being there. I’d like to think I have a super power that people feel better when I’m around. My presence brings joy and happiness in the form of love energy.
I have no idea what will happen. I am uncertain about my future. But I am hopeful and feel positive that everything will be okay. I’m being mindful of people who are going through loss of jobs, not being able to be with family, nor having enough food or supplies. I am remembering to be more kind to others because I don’t know what someone else is going through. Exercise and meditation has been my saving grace. I believe everything will be okay in the end, even better than okay. I think with this time of solitude and isolation, I will be stronger than ever. Not just me but the world as I see it. People will heal and be reborn into a new way of life. Mother Earth will heal. I believe in humanity and the world working in unity. Together we will rise. Together we will become one. I believe the future will be bright and everything is going to be alright.
Memoirs of an Emotional Fish 