Learning to be Unbothered

It takes a lot of courage to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes. Not only understanding how people think, act or do things differently, but understanding everyone’s experience to life is MUCH different than yours.

In this day in age, if you don’t just follow along with what everyone believes in, you will most likely be shunned or looked down upon. Most people do not want to ruffle any feathers, stir the pot or add some fuel to the fire per say when it comes to speaking their own authentic truth. People would rather just stay quiet and blend in with the crowd.

I have always been someone who has been very outspoken. I have no problem saying exactly what I want and when I want. I have learned over the years, that is it not what you say but how you say it that matters.

I will never forget what my math teacher/ volleyball coach said to me years ago “Fiona one of these days your mouth will get you into BIG trouble” and I have learned that the hard way. I had to stop being so mouthy and aggressive with my approach to speaking to others. I’ve had to not let my emotions get the best of me. Responding with anger or by blowing up at someone was not the right solution. Sometimes no response is the best response.

My life experiences with my relationships with friends, boyfriends, family members, strangers and even my patients is not like anyone else’s experience. Only I, can know what I have been through within my life.

Every good, bad, loving, difficult, annoying, supportive, disgusting, ugly, caring, respectful person in my life, has taught me some sort of lesson. I have either been knocked down or survived in triumph, but in all cases I have grown into a better understanding of myself and in this life.

Everyone has their own trials and tribulations, challenges, emotions and even thought processes. How I perceive something to be, is not how others will perceive them to be.

Everything that has happened before me, has shaped every decision by me. Same goes for every single person on this planet. I have no idea what someone’s life experience has been up until now. Unless I can learn to walk a mile in someone’s shoes without judgement, and understand everyone’s experience is just different.

It can be hard to live an unbothered life, when we are constantly faced with problems in an anxious world. Just when you think you have your head on straight and everything seems to be going your way, something or someone rips the carpet out from under your feet and your laying flat on your face.

We all have problems. We all process problems differently. With physical health, mental health, healthy relationships, job satisfaction, work life balance, family life, financial, death of loved ones and anything else people have to deal with and then function as a normal human being. Then there’s social media, world news and environmental concerns on top of that. I’m surprised that people’s heads aren’t exploding at the seams.

When times get tough and I feeling like I’m losing my mind, I know I must turn inward. Turn off the noise. Turn off the external distractions. Turn off other people’s opinions. Sit down, close my eyes and just breathe. It’s taken many years, but that’s why it’s called practice. It’s only gets better the more you sit in silence. Meditation is the answer.

I can’t explain how it makes everything make sense. Meditation brings me back to being present and focus on what is really important. Life is a blessing. I learn to count my blessings and express my gratitude daily. I’m reminded to love everyone and to send loving kindness to all. Even the people who piss me right off and I want to punch in the face. I send them a double dose of love and kindness. I may not sit eye to eye with certain people, but I can still love them.

In order to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes, I must learn to love them as one. Even though we are different, we are still very much the same. Learning to be unbothered starts with finding love and peace from within. When I can love others, I can love myself. When I can love myself, nothing can bother my inner peace. Live life. Breathe life. Love life. Be unbothered.